Love in the time of Covid-19

My goals are changing. Slowly.
From checking my step count on my phone app, my goal now is to see lotuses in full bloom each morning. Of course, this entails a list of other preceding actions.

Feel a familiar pull between the pressure of time in the morning to following my heart and deciding to go for a walk. Taking a longer route so that the sun beats down on my back, I breathe in deeper, and usually have a nice playlist on. And to reward myself, I end my walk near a little pond ripe with lotuses.

Bursting with life, happy, opening up to the promise of a new day – those lovely lotuses float casually in the morning breeze, life’s philosophy shining amidst its dew. I never thought of them this way. But now, I’m grateful for each day with sun. Grateful to feel the prick of sunshine on my arms. And grateful to see those lotuses. They make me love life, again.

I’m enjoy both flavours of nature. Stark and resplendent. The trees with their hues of red, yellow, green. Some are pregnant with flowers, leaves – the promise of life. And yet others stand tall, bare, graceful with a proud legacy. A lone leaf lays stuck on one empty branch – perhaps it is holding on. Or is it the tree?

The sun seems to play out all its glory with dazzling sunsets. The strokes of red, purples and pink across the sky’s canvas could put any artist to shame. The sun remains untouched by the silence of the world. The bare streets, the empty halls, the anxious minds. It almost seems to say: just hold on. One day at a time.

Did I mention the cacophony of birds in the garden? Little bits of blue kingfishers flying around, vibrant green parrots staking their claim over that old neem tree, black sparrows carrying on. Their reassuring rhythm at the end of the day – groups of birds flying in that perfect V, going to their safe home. Together, moving in unison and in perfect harmony – there is such a comfort in nature’s intelligence. There must be a greater plan, surely, if everything is designed to this level of perfection.

The sight of the occasional sulking cat, the friendly stray dog that appears from thin air to nudge my ankle. Little squirrels bouncing around. All of this was always there, and I’ve always loved it.

Yet the focus lens seems to be getting sharper and clearer now. Little things that missed my attention, earlier. Little and significant things that seem irrelevant and silly now. Words that can be forgiven, gestures which can be the benefit of doubt, the play of and respect for time, patterns of thinking and the mind and the importance of material things in life. The kaleidoscope seems to be shifting ever so slowly.

Two nights ago, I nervously stood before the mirror and with a determined hand began pulling a few fragments of my overgrown eyebrow hair. I never liked eyebrow tweezers. I could feel every pinch and pluck. Yet a few minutes later, it was fine. My bushy eye brows were temporarily tamed. I learned I could manage on my own. Perhaps this time is going to teach me that. And to fall in love with this beautiful world, again.

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